The Ugly Woman

Through the five hole...nuttin but bowl 
As an alternative to the trash can or the floor puke through the 5 hole while sitting on the John. Remove your tackle from harm’s way by reaching around your back side and tucking your unit up towards your crack. Collimate your vomit stream by puckering your lips like when you whistle or administer fellatio.


Scouting Report
Difficulty: 8
Intensity: 7
Clean Up time: the flush of a toilet
Favorite Movie: The Crying Game

“One shot one kill.” -Tom Berenger in The Sniper

Genesis (as written by No Jeans)
Blue Jeans (see picture in profile) created the Ugly Woman at an after prom party at his date's house. After numerous body shots and sour tuna hoagies Blue Jeans found himself rockin' the bowl with his appellative blue jeans tight around his ankles. Of the mind to give his never to be seen again date an extreme ATM (Ass to Mouth) to remember him by, Blue Jeans credit card swiped his filthy unwiped ass with his own wang. Comparing the similarities between the current position of his crotch to the hairy bush of a female Blue Jeans exclaimed, "By God I'm an ugly woman!" Stricken by the novelty of the situation, Blue Jeans feels the need to see with his own eyes his butt and penis (two very important members of his life) meet for the first time. Alas! As he bent over to take a closer look he loses inner ear equilibrium and hurls through his legs with sniper like precision.
-This is the word of No Jeans.