The Bizarrgoyle

The Bizarrgoyle: More complex than just switching the color in MacPaint from Brown to Green. 

Break the mold and gargoyle outside the box and into the twilight zone by puking out your ass and shitting out your mouth. While no one has proof that such a phenomenon exists, Blue Jeans swears by his pants that he totally Kris Krossed himself out one fateful Opposite Day. “No Jeans kept calling me dingleberry breath. Obviously you can’t have dingleberries without poop. It’s like the chicken and the egg. I pooped out my mouth and I’m lucky, because had I’d been more fastidious and wiped properly I wouldn’t have any proof.” Pressed for further evidence Blue Jeans offered, “The janitor came in and threw sawdust on my ass puke. You don’t put sawdust on poop.” There you have it. But until we can investigate this matter further, or at least until we obtain a more objective and unbiased affidavit, we will file this gargoyle alongside the records we keep on UFOs, Sasquatch, the JFK assassination and certain STDs.

Bonus: For added effect turn off the lights and shine a flashlight underneath your chin as you Bizarrgoyle.

Hollywood Moment: David Duchovny, who plays second fiddle special agent Fox Mulder on the hit show the X Files, cultivates the unusual and Bizarrgoyles like the true method actor he has always been.

Scouting Report

Difficulty: Out of this world
Intensity: What do you think!
Clean Up Time: A lifetime of coping and countless hours of therapy
Likelihood of Bizarrgoyling: Winning the lottery, being struck by lightning, twice, wrestling with Big Foot, Blowing Nessey, Seeing a ghost, having hot chocolate with the Abominable Snowman, and getting laid by a REAL woman all in one day